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| Uncommon Sense | How much is enough?
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I came into a tidy little windfall, and my first thought was . . . I want more. But working the numbers helped me realize I might already have enough.
By MP Dunleavey
Editor's note: Columnist MP Dunleavey and six other women have come together online to strip away the myths surrounding money, speak frankly about their finances and liberate themselves from debt. Follow the quest for financial fabulousness of these "Women in Red" every other Monday in Dunleavey's column on MSN Money.
We all have dreams of a sudden windfall -- whether it's winning the lottery, inheriting from a distant relation or the old "bank error in your favor."
The underlying fantasy is that all you need is a little extra, and then you'd have enough to do X, enough to cover Y, enough to finally buy Z.
Well, I just got an unexpected windfall, and it wasn't the starry-eyed moment of relief and possibility I'd always imagined. It was more like being handed a pop quiz by Fate with one question: "How much is enough?"
Where did 'enough' go?
Since I keep nothing from you, I have to admit the embarrassing reaction I had to finding out about my $29,250 windfall. Right off the bat, I wished it were more. I wished it were $50,000. For some reason, I was convinced that whereas almost $30,000 was not enough, $20,000 on top of that would be.
As someone once said, "Enough is a little bit more than whatever you have now." Sigh.
I agree that this is crazy and pathetic. A miserly reaction to spontaneous abundance -- and I didn't even have to chant for it.
But what shocked me even more was how quickly my personal standard of "enough" evaporated.
It really made me wonder.
Is there ever a financial point in life, a dollar amount, a collection of assets or a lifestyle achievement that would enable a person to sigh: "Okay, now I have enough"? Or are so many of us brainwashed by the idea that More Is Better --more money, more things, just more -- that Enough would always prove elusive?
Your prehistoric brain
The evidence is against us. It's not exactly that human beings are hard-wired to want more, but a growing body of research shows that many people have a hard time postponing financial and material gratification. (You don't say!)
Economists and psychologists have found that when faced with financial decisions, like choosing a reward now or a bigger one later, most people have a hard time overcoming the basic instinct to take the cash and run.
It's your prehistoric brain kicking in: Back in the Paleolithic era, a windfall consisted of a large animal, freshly roasted. Lacking dry ice, you had to eat your windfall while it was fresh. Then it was gone. The feeling of "enough" was fleeting.
Thus even today, the desire to pursue moremoremore often gains the upper hand. Knowing and accepting that you have enough is not a natural reflex.
More from the 'Women in Red'
In the decades since the Depression, advertisers and marketers have played on this natural vulnerability to create a climate of constant consumer dissatisfaction. Whatever you have today soon won't be enough. By next week, you'll want something bigger, better, hipper, trendier.
That Pied Piper tune is hard to resist. Shopping, buying, getting, owning -- these form not only the cornerstone of how we live, but our identities, as well. The unfortunate mix of human nature and the current Zeitgeist of relentless materialism may explain why millions of Americans are overextended.
Back to my windfall
Finding that sense of Enough in your own life, I've discovered, requires both a shift in how you handle money as well as a major attitude change.
In discussing my windfall (reluctantly) with my cigar-chomping editor, he suggested using the old 60% Solution as a guideline for how best to deploy these funds.
At first I wanted to scream: BUT YOU ALWAYS TELL US TO USE THE 60% SOLUTION. Because he does. And it brings to mind that repetitive quality parents have: "Well, if you'd only go to bed on time . . ." You've heard it so often, who cares if they're right?
But when we did the math, I realized that -- despite all my tortured cries of "this is not enough!" -- my windfall is a hefty amount. Have a look:
Breaking it down
Under the 60% Solution, I would disperse my windfall thusly: - 60% = $17,550 to pay taxes, insurance and other living expenses while I write a book.
- 20% = $5,850 for debt.
- 10% = $2,925 for irregular expenses.
- 10% = $2,925 for fun money.
(Normally I'd use the 20% that's going toward debt to save for long-term expenses and retirement, but paying off my debt takes precedence for now.)
This doesn't make me Rockefeller. But guess what?- I will now pay off ALL my remaining credit card debt -- and have about $500 left over to put into my IRA.
- My husband and I can take a vacation.
- With the extra cushion for irregular expenses, we won't get hit too hard by the upcoming brake repairs we need.
Working with the 60% Solution, which provides for basics and also designates a key chunk for fun money, is one way to get control over your prehistoric brain. My modern mind appreciates the security of having all my bases covered.
And that provides a foundation for feeling like I have enough.
But wait, there's more
You can't stop there. Enough isn't financial, my brothers and sisters in red. It's in your brain, not in your bank account. And you have to be vigilant to keep the blood levels of Enough strong: - Want what you have. When my Enough levels plunge, it's because I see my life, my home, my possessions as deficient. Nothing I have is good enough. When I can break free of materialism's death grip, I see that what I own is FINE.
- Dont want what others have. This is a recipe for envy, not for finding satisfaction. There will always be people in this world who have more than you do. Remind yourself that wanting what others have will keep you wanting until Doomsday.
- Choose a richer future. Allowing yourself to feel like you have Enough now means you're less likely to squander your money on stuff you don't need. Thus, you can save more. (A luxury they didn't have in the Paleolithic era.)
- Give yourself credit. If you were to keep a diary of every single thing that crossed your mind to want each day, you'd be amazed. But notice that for every 37 things you want, you probably only splurge on one or two. See? We are all capable of making smart choices. Now, make them more often.
Here's another benefit to embracing Enough as a way of life. In the moments when I succeed in knowing that what I have is enough, I've witnessed an extraordinary biological event: This shift in thinking frees up vast quantities of energy in my brain. I am less anxious.
Ask yourself one question
Instead of wanting more -- I can always want more, it's practically in my genes -- I have been trying to feel at home in what I have. I woke up one morning and looked around my not-very-big, non-doorman, five-flight-walkup apartment and said: What if this is enough?
Try it. Look around your life, your car, your home, your clothes, your furniture, and instead of seeing what's not there, see what is. And then ask yourself: What if this is enough?
I like phrasing it as a question, a consideration. That way there's no Old Testament-style pressure: THOU SHALT FEEL LIKE THOU HAST ENOUGH.
Because, what I have been feeling since I started proposing this alternative reality to myself (Hey, maybe you have enough! What if you do? What if everything you have is all that you need?), what I've been feeling is gratitude. And relief. And maybe I didn't even need a windfall to feel this way.
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