To print article, click Print on your browser's File menu. Go back   Get market news by e-mail See if refinancing works Personal finance bookshelf Letters from MSN Money readers Find It! Article Index Fast Answers Tools Index Site map Recent articles by MP Dunleavey: • 8 financial train wrecks you can avoid, 9/27/2005 • Why so many women cant save, 9/18/2005 • How teens get sucked into credit-card debt, 9/4/2005 More...		Uncommon Sense Blogging toward financial sanity I was skeptical about starting a blog, but then a real community emerged -- and together, we're bucking up our fiscal resolve to battle spending and debt.  By MP Dunleavey Editor's note: Columnist MP Dunleavey and eight other women have come together online to strip away the myths surrounding money, lay bare their assets and liberate themselves from debt. Follow the quest for financial fabulousness of these Women in Red every second Monday in Dunleavey's column on MSN Money. I have to admit, I was less than thrilled when my cigar-chomping editor told me last spring that I would have to add blogging to my writerly duties. He wanted all the Women in Red to participate. As a general rule, I try to avoid as many technological innovations as I can. Like today's over-endowed cell phones, they rarely add to your quality of life (blurry picture, anyone?). Besides, what could I say on a blog that I wasn't saying in my column? How could yet more words thrown into the giant landfill that is the Internet possibly help anyone -- especially financially? Still, I had a job to do and I had to figure out a way to do it. So I posted a rant about expensive friends and how I was embarrassed about the fact that I sometimes wash and reuse my plastic baggies. Don't let retirement sneak up on you. Create a perfect plan. It was one of those small acts of frugality that I would never admit out loud because any hint that you're pennywise is like admitting you're a poor, pathetic loser. Groundswell of honesty I was practically knocked flat by the wave of sympathetic, been-there postings I got in response. I was preaching to a choir of frugal-minded women who, like me, were tired of sneaking around, pretending they didn't care about financial sanity when they did. What emerged in that discussion and ones that followed was a wealth of broader concerns about money and behavior, status and social consciousness. Related news and commentary on MSN Money • Savvy spending quiz • 7 ways to control your emotional spending • Manage debt step by step • Easy loans now mean a hard landing later • 12 easy ways to keep from overspending • Why so many women cant save My fellow bloggers agreed that when you hide these small acts of financial sanity -- taking a doggy bag at the restaurant, admitting you can't afford something or that you shop at Goodwill -- you play into the prevailing, financially destructive cultural myth that it's embarrassing, dumb or somehow "wrong" to be prudent about money. As a woman named Danielle wrote, echoing the thoughts of others: "The economy is in the toilet, gas prices are skyrocketing, the unemployment rate is high, yet a lot of people seem to be functioning like nothing has changed in their pocketbooks. I dont know why living within your means should be such a shameful thing to do." Even more astonishing was the way this blast of collective honesty seemed to inspire people to let their hair down and reach out to each other. When I asked people to introduce themselves -- in that anonymous blog way, of course -- it was eye-opening to see how similar everyones financial stories were. Whether it was medical school, a divorce, a prolonged illness, a big wedding or foolishly running up credit card bills, all of us had grappled with -- and most of us still were struggling with -- immense amounts of debt. Among the score of women who officially introduced themselves, the collective credit card debt alone was about $200,000. School and car loans put that amount much higher. "I started out last August with almost $7,000 in credit card debt, $49,000 in student loans, and $18,000 on a car loan," wrote Ang. "Last month I made my last credit card payment. I am so proud!" Just venting can be therapeutic, of course, but I was intrigued and impressed to realize that women were also using the group as a source of support. "Support" may sound nebulous and insubstantial. But when it comes to money, support becomes a tangible asset if it helps you make progress on your financial goals. Three kinds of help There are three ways this is happening on the blog: Revelation We live in a society fraught with financial myths and obfuscation and misinformation around money. On the blog, by contrast, people experience a kind of clarity that they find helpful: A blogger called ML wrote: "I used to look around at the people that I encountered in my life. I wonder how they could afford the things that they have. Now I realize, THEY DON'T!! They can't afford it, and more than likely they are going into debt for it! It seems that we have all been raised in this dream world where everyone else's life is perfect, they don't have money struggles. It's just because nobody is talking about it! HERE we are." Camaraderie One of the important functions of community is a little thing called "keepin' ya honest." It seems that when you know others are watching, it has the effect of reinforcing good behavior. A blogger called Kat pointed out that the peer pressure that might send you on a shopping splurge with your girlfriends, here can help to shore up a gal's financial resolve: "Now instead of buying a new shirt because my friends just went shopping, I steer clear of the mall and keep you ladies in mind. It's the same impulses, same underlying principle, but with a higher/healthier purpose." This is key because, as we all know, staying true to your financial course can be a rough road. I don't know what percentage of financial failure is due to feeling isolated, but the sense of community on the blog seems to make people feel less alone in their efforts and more able to stick to plan. Anastasia said the group helped her to cope with spendthrift friends who would urge her to put an outing on plastic if she declined because an event was too pricey. "I think it helps to be in contact with other women who have similar financial goals, both to stay motivated and to feel like less of a freak," she wrote. "Isn't that sad, when being sensible about money makes you feel like you're somehow abnormal?" Advice Another source of support people are finding is all sorts of advice, thoughts and Web links. When WIR member Stephanie announced that she'd gotten a great review at work, but they hadn't yet told her what her raise would be, she asked the blog if she could or should still negotiate. Responses poured in, like these: "DO NOT SETTLE!" wrote KT, emphatically summarizing the group's feedback. "You can cost yourself thousands by being 'a good little girl' and just taking whatever they will pinch out to you. A great book is Negotiating Your Salary: How to Make $1000 a Minute. It gives scripts for how to talk about money to help you get what you're worth. It's a great investment and cheaper than a coach." And when a single mother named Kathy posted, describing her battle to keep the bank from foreclosing on her house, several people offered both sympathy and suggestions, including this excellent one from a blogger who goes by the name of ylm. "I know there is a form lenders are required to send before foreclosure that tells homeowners about programs they may be qualified for to help them avoid the foreclosure. I am not sure where you are, but I bet there are similar programs in other states. One other thing you can do, since it takes a decently long time for them to actually get all the way through foreclosure and sale, is to sell the house if it is too expensive for you. In this market, you should make some cash that can help with bills." It aint personal Perhaps the most important thing I've learned by watching these interactions evolve on the blog is that the phrase "personal finance" is something of a misnomer. It ain't personal, it's communal. Get MPs free newsletter by e-mail Sign up to be notified whenever MP publishes a new article. Your e-mail address:   Learn more about newsletters   Little has been written about the role of community as a positive force in the economic lives of individuals, but I am seeing now that it is. It's not that I've stopped believing in the personal struggle to find financial sanity. In the end, each person has the final say over her financial choices. But I now believe that the Women in Red's sacred motto -- TTFC, Taking Total Financial Control -- may best be achieved with a little help from our friends. And yours, too.
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