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| The Basics | 20 tough questions for an easier future
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Scrimping toward a vague retirement may not be the answer after all. 'Life planners' insist that you dream the kind of life you want now -- and make it happen.
By Liz Pulliam Weston
The typical financial strategy demands that you cut current spending to set aside money for some distant future that you may not even live to enjoy. For many people, the idea of slogging away for 20, 30 or even 50 years before seeing any reward simply doesnt appeal. They either never get going, or they abandon the plans pretty quickly.
A small group of financial planners is wondering whether we havent got the whole thing backward.
These planners, specialists in the emerging field of life planning, say that most financial strategies would work better if people concentrated on getting what they really want out of life as they live it. While some delayed gratification is needed to reach any goal, life planners suggest that more people would be able to make the necessary trade-offs if they were living happier lives that authentically reflected their true values.
Advocates of life planning say theyre looking for a more holistic approach to financial planning, one that considers a clients most deeply-held values instead of focusing exclusively on how big a pile of money they can accumulate.
So youre secure. Now what?
Figuring out what you really want, though, can be a daunting task. One of the founders of this movement, George Kinder, of Littleton, Mass., came up with a series of questions to help clients uncover what is most important to them.
First, Kinder, author of The Seven Stages of Money Maturity: Understanding the Spirit and Value of Money in Your Life, has his clients imagine that theyve already arrived at a point of financial security -- that they have enough money to take care of all of their needs, both now and in the future. Then, he throws out three questions:
- How would you live your life?
- What would you do with the money?
- Would you change anything?
He urges clients not to hold back. Instead, he wants them to visualize in the greatest possible detail the life of their dreams. Describe a life that is complete, that is richly yours, he advises.
What if your time is limited?
Once clients have spent sufficient time imagining and detailing this ideal life, he switches gears. Now, he asks them to imagine that their doctors have told them that they have five to 10 years left to live. They will be healthy until the moment they die, but they will have no advance notice of when theyll go. Now he asks three additional questions:
- What will you do in the time you have remaining to live?
- Will it change your life?
- If so, how will you change it?
Confronting mortality
For the final batch of questions, Kinder returns clients to the doctors exam room. Now, however, theyre told they have just one day left to live. He asks them to pay close attention to the feelings that arise as they confront their mortality. Then he asks four last questions:
- What dreams will be left unfulfilled?
- What do I wish I had finished or had been?
- What do I wish I had done?
- What did I miss?
The sequence of scenarios and questions is designed to start clients visualizing their goals, then home in on whats really most important in their lives. With those core values identified, a financial plan can be built to help make the dream an eventual reality, while helping the client incorporate those ideals into day-to-day living.
The goal is meaning, not cash
What were looking for is not money goals, its meaning, said Susan Galvan, executive director of the Kinder Institute for Life Planning, which is based in Pleasanton, Calif. Youre not going to look back and regret how many TVs you didnt buy.
Someone who thought he wanted an early retirement, for example, may find instead that the most important thing to him is spending time with his young children. He may decide to throttle back on his career and retire later so that he doesnt miss out on his kids formative years.
Another may find her goal of financial independence so compelling that she moves to a cheaper area of the country and takes a second job so she can retire her debt.
The real work, of course, comes in trying to figure out how to change your life to reflect your values. Kinder urges his clients to fantasize all kinds of solutions, then narrow down their options to the ones that will effect the change as quickly as possible.
Making the fantasy a reality
Kinder tells the story of a successful physician with four children and a house in an expensive neighborhood whose hearts desire was to be a rabbi. The physician thought he might be able to make the transition in 10 to 15 years, when the kids were grown and through college. Kinder challenged him to make the switch in two years. The doctor did it in four -- with the support of his wife and family.
They moved to a less expensive neighborhood and changed some of the have tos in their lives, Galvan said. Family members supported the fathers professional switch and were rewarded as he became a lot more available to them.
People get locked into thinking how things have to be, especially when they cant see a financial solution or a way to bring it up to their spouse, Galvan said. But often the family wants each person to be as happy as possible.
This process may be particularly difficult for you if youve got a bad case of the yeah-buts. How can you tell? If the last time a friend tried to offer you advice about how to change your life the first words out of your mouth were Yeah, but -- , then youre afflicted.
Think solutions, not obstacles
Youll obviously need to identify the obstacles that might keep you from the life you want, life planners say, but you cant stop there. Instead, you need to zero in on solutions.
Here are some more questions that may help you accomplish that task:
- Whats standing between me and what I want?
- Whats my plan for overcoming each of these obstacles?
- What do I have, in terms of personal strengths and outside resources, that will help me deal with these obstacles?
- What skills and knowledge do I need to add to accomplish this change?
- Are there other people I can call on for help in overcoming these obstacles?
- Whats my time line for overcoming these obstacles?
- How can I make these changes happen sooner?
- Do I need my familys support for making this change?
- If so, how can I rally that support?
- How can I evaluate and monitor my progress toward my goals?
Liz Pulliam Weston's column appears every Monday and Thursday, exclusively on MSN Money. She also answers reader questions in the Your Money message board.
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