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| Uncommon Sense | Dont wind up divorced and destitute
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The worst thing you can do is to ignore money matters while you're married. Here are 9 ways to divorce-proof yourself now.
By MP Dunleavey
Editor's note: Columnist MP Dunleavey and eight other women have come together online to strip away the myths surrounding money, lay bare their assets and liberate themselves from debt. Follow the quest for financial fabulousness of these "Women in Red" every second Monday in Dunleavey's column on MSN Money.
Most women get married believing their marriage will last "until death do us part," not "until he departs, taking all the money."
Yet the reality is that women are far more likely than men to suffer financially when their marriage unravels. According to the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, a woman's standard of living will drop by as much as 27% -- compared to 10% for men -- after a divorce.
While this may not be true for all divorced women, a grimmer picture does lie in wait for a specific group of women who:- Have stayed home with the kids
- Are approaching middle age with rusty career skills
- Let their mates handle most or all of the household finances
- Thought they could count on their husband's income, savings and retirement to protect them -- and suddenly they can't
While divorce is hard at any age, for women nearing midlife whose time and energy has gone into their families -- not themselves -- it's particularly important to shore up financial positions before a crisis strikes.
The financial fallout
I don't mean to make my gender sound weaker than we are. Plenty of women are not only equal financial partners in their marriages, they'll fight tooth and nail for their share if it ends. Look at Anna Nicole Smith.
But Marian, 51, one of the newest members of the Women in Red, says most women don't protect themselves. And she would know -- not only because her husband left her eight years ago without a job or a dime of support for herself and her three children, but because she's now a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) and she sees women get worked over all the time.
The No. 1 financial mistake women make? Marian and other divorce experts agree: Nothing makes you more vulnerable than ignoring money matters while you're married.
Related news and commentary on MSN Money
"Complacency is rampant in women," says Harlene Miller, a bankruptcy lawyer in Santa Ana, Calif., "If you don't know what's going out and coming in, if you don't know what the debt is or how much is left over each month, when a crisis arises you're going to have a real problem."
Expect the unexpected
It may be daunting, but it's never too late to put yourself on firmer financial ground -- even if your marriage is thriving, and especially if it's not. "At the first inkling that your marriage may not last, begin being proactive," advises Marian, "but you should really be proactive from day one."
That means:
Get savvy. Take Miller's pop quiz:- Do you know what your husband earns?
- What the monthly bills are?
- Where your bank accounts are?
- How much retirement you have?
- Where the will is?
- How much debt you have?
If you can't answer all of those questions, start digging for answers. Some experts suggest that spouses swap financial duties once a month so that both partners learn how the family's finances are run.
Pay attention. "Know what you're signing when you sign the tax return -- or anything else, for that matter," says Gayle Rosenwald Smith, author of "Divorce and Money: Everything You Need to Know."
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MSN Money's editorial goal is to provide a forum for personal finance and investment ideas. Our articles, columns, message board posts and other features should not be construed as investment advice, nor does their appearance imply an endorsement by Microsoft of any specific security or trading strategy. An investor's best course of action must be based on individual circumstances.
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